Saturday, 30th December 2017

My family bought a cake randomly as my Father requested, he said that it’s his “birthday. I was confused in the first place but then I went to my mum and she told me that year 2017 is my Father’s 59 years old, so to get rid of all the bad lucks we have to get a cake and blow the candles. Blow away all the bad lucks and unlucky stuff around ... 

My brother ordered a cake through food panda from Emicakes store. It’s cost $55.80 for the cake I think, it’s 15cm and there’s a $3 charges for delivery ...

Got my boys to be involved haha! They love birthday celebration and especially blowing candles! My cuties~ I’ve got quite a few photos but only decided to upload these two photos.

Belated Christmas gift for Hubby! ❤️

Yesterday I met up my Sister to accompany me to Bugis tempter and pray for the appointment the next day, pray for good result and everything to be smooth for me. I also get Sister to help me and choose the design of belt that I wanted to get for hubby as a Christmas gift. 

After praying we went to Bugis market which is on top of the hawker center, went to get some dry goods before going off to get the gift. After getting my goods we went OG to look for belt and thank god that there is sales going on hahaha! 20% off for the belt I got for hubby! :)

Got hubby a bradFORD brand belt, me and Sister choose the design of the belt. I did measure the inch of Hubby’s belt before I went out to meet my Sister ... After buying the belt we went to take bus off to BoonKeng and took train, as Sister is heading for work and for me I went to Farrer Park. I went daiso to get gift ribbons and gifts bag haha! After that I went to get dinner for me, mil and the boys and then I went home after that ...

There’s left over Christmas gift wrappers so once I’ve got home I wrap up the gift. But only during the late night when everyone is asleep I paste the ribbon and sticker, also place inside the gift bag...

I also wrote a letter to hubby before I go for bed haha! I also message hubby that I place something on the dining table and it’s for him ... so he will be able saw it when he came home from work during the midnight :) Hopefully he likes the belt haha! And he wear it today and go for work ! 

P.S : Sorry for my broken English XD

Thank you for the Christmas Gifts !!

Actually I wanted to make a post before I go for bed yesterday night but I was too tired and just fall asleep haha! After Christmas I still get to receive Christmas gifts from friends, feel so blessed and thankful! Appreciated~ 

ChoonYen mummy got me mask haha! I gave her Christmas gift on the pass Saturday, bought her big box of Merci Chocolate and bought some Pony colouring stationary for her granddaughter as well ... although I don’t do mask XD but still wanted to thank her for the token of her heart.

Wanted to Thank Farida for the bag and toys for my boys, she’s a Friend of my Sister, she’s really a kind and lovely lady! So Glad to know her :) I got her some wafer biscuit and a Starbucks Christmas Mug...

A guy from my house downstairs a Salon sir, got me the above things and I don’t know why he got to give me this haha! I believe it’s a limited edition and unable to get it elsewhere... I’ve got him a Christmas gifts too and that’s why he got me in return of the gifts haha! It was so cool~ 

This year I finally get to receive a Christmas card from one of my Friend! MeiHui! She’s really a secret santa haha! Thank you babe~ I miss you a lot too! Muack muack~!

Merry Christmas! 聖誕節快樂~

Merry Christmas to everyone in the world! Some other countries are snowing at this holiday season but for Singapore it’s raining today ... The boys went for bed early today as I believe they used up their energy haha! Today I didn’t get to stay at home but I meet up my family to go for some walk at City Square Mall :) so Glad that I get to spend my Christmas with my family although it’s tiring but it’s worth to let my boys bond with my parent.

Took the photo of my boys unwrapping the Christmas gift which their father bought for them, Big J just keep wanting for Christmas present so in the end I gave it to them before their father wake up and give it to them ... bought toys for the boys actually hahaha!

Didn’t notice that Mummy ChoonYen would get Christ gifts for me and Sister ... because this year I bought her Merci big pack chocolate and some stationery stuff for her granddaughter. She also bought one share for Sister as my Sister gave her a blue penguin bag from daiso for Mummy ChoonYen. I’ll be giving the mask to my Sister cause I don’t do mask at all haha!

Would like to thank someone for getting Christmas gifts for me and boys as well! I love the bag because I seldom buy bags already or even to think of buying. I scare to waste money or even take home space haha! Farida thank you for your kindness I’ll remember your concern and love towards me and my boys ! 

I’m so tired and sleepy right now but before I end my post I just wanted to wish everyone in the world a very Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year soon ~ haha!

聖誕節快樂!메리 크리스마스 ❤️ 
(2017) ^.^ Good Night...

Throwback on my Uncle’s birthday

Making a throwback post of 16th December, Saturday it’s a small celebration for my dearest Uncle’s birthday. His actual birthday is on the 15th December, Friday...

We have steamboat for lunch and dinner hahaha!!! Such a pity that I forgotten to snap photo LOL! In the afternoon I meet my Friend to collect Christmas gift, I was so surprised that a few of them got me Christmas gifts !!! AiLin, Ying Jing and Paulyn, they are my secondary school classmates. They even bought gifts for my boys as well! Such a bless~ 
Went to get a cake after meeting up my Friend, i was walking around the mall and thinking what can I should get so in the end I got Strawberry Shortcake from :)

I also took red wine sauce from MIL to cook with chicken for my family to it, but so sad that I did not snap a photo of it. It’s a traditional home made red wine sauce from my MIL ... 

Saturday feast ...

Making a throwback post of Saturday, it’s a family day and Sister cooked dinner while I’m out to help hubby get some stuff. I went Waterway Point, bought Sushi from Fairprice but forgotten to snap photo haha. That day randomly I feel like having the stir fried noodle so I went out to get it and meanwhile I help hubby to get his stuff too. I would like to say a big THANK YOU! to Sister for the dinner! I’m going to put on weight soon with all your delicious food hahaha!

I’ve also bought the durian puff at Waterway Point, just thought maybe some dessert to feel it more like Christmas season haha! Although we didn’t get to celebrate for Christmas together this year ...

I have 3 pieces of the durian puff! Omgggg! I just can’t hold myself haha!!! My blood sugar confirm hiiiiiiggggh~

I went out in the afternoon after a nap to help hubby get some snacks for his store, he wanted to pack goodies bag for his crews on this Christmas. He also bought gifts for his management team as well, the gift is when me and hubby went out at the late night to NEX mall on the last Friday. That Friday we went for school events at Gardens by the Bay so after we got home for a while the boys fall asleep so we decided to head out and get some gifts. 

In the first place we thought we will get to buy things from FairPrice but in the end there’s nothing we could get for gifts and goodies bag. Because hubby wanted to get the candy cane but it’s totally sold out so we went off . Before leaving the mall I went to take a look at Starbucks which I also wanted to get Christmas gifts for Sister.

At last we bought something and it’s from Starbucks, we bought Christmas edition jar and total we bought 9 of it hahaha! It’s having a 50% promotion off and so worth it!

That Saturday night after the boys went for bed I pack 70 bags of goodies bag for Hubby’s store crews. Two days straight that I’ve stay up late night to settle Christmas stuff and gifts. Friday night I settle Hubby’s gifts for his managers which I wrote Christmas cards, I also help him to pack separately in case for mixing up and confusion.

2017 Christmas Eve ...

Hello! It’s Christmas Eve today and I stay at home with the boys and my MIL. Feeling so disappointed and sad once again that I’ve got to stay at home on this holiday season, hubby is always busy working. Hubby is tired I know but I’m just feeling so disappointed and sad down the years recently, especially this year which I’m pregnant with the third one. Next year will be even worst that I don’t dare to imagine, there is changes for Hubby’s current job which makes him stress even more and tired even more ...

He is my Husband of cause that I’ll feel heart pain and sad to see him work so hard to support the family but in the other point that he’s too tired to bother me and the family or even the house ... If I’m not pregnant now I’m willing to give in all I have to for this family but I’m living like a zombie almost everyday, there’s like no tomorrow for me. Most of the time I really do regrets for being so stupid like an idiot to make myself ended up like this ... I hate my life so badly !

In the late afternoon I uploaded this photo of my boys to show my love for hubby. Uploaded on IG and FB to thank my hubby for his hard work and we love him a lot! Although I’m disappointed somehow ...

We went Gardens by the Bay with the school and it’s kind of chaos! The place is really cooling, beautiful and cool but didn’t get the chance to take photo as the boys just can’t stop moving forward and running every where. 

Good Night ...

Done releasing my sadness and I’m good now. I’m actually glad that there is somewhere I could say it all out from the deep of my when how sad and heartbroken I am ... Just got to go for bed and tomorrow is another day ... Good Night !


真的好累。 时间已经要接近深夜了可是我现在很痛苦!突然间觉得我活着真的好累,总觉得为了别人而勉强地活下去。为了自己的家人和孩子只能好好活着,可是活得好痛苦!



종현오빠, 잘랐어요! ❤️

종현오빠, 잘랐어요 ❤️ 鐘鉉歐巴你辛苦了,真的很捨不得你!你是多麼棒多麼有才華的藝人,希望你一路好走。永別了!... JongHyun-uh, I’m feeling so heart broken to see you just leave like this but glad that you’re not suffering anymore. May you Rest In Peace, Farewell~ 


Most of the time when my emotional changes which I don’t even know myself, I just wish to cry and sometimes will cry out loud. The sadness and hurts just can’t hold it and so as the tears just keep flowing non stop, most of the time I wish to be alone but actually I’m alone. I wish to be alone from all the things that I’ve to face and settle every single day! Every single minutes! I just kept feeling so tired whereby I didn’t do anything much. I can’t take the stress to live with my MIL, my Husband and my kids! I’ve no idea why I have to live like this and why I deserve all these shit whereby it’s totally not my business at all ... but I just can’t reject and forcing myself to do what people asked me to do, I’m really tired actually but they’re just so selfish to only think for themselves ... I have no idea why there’s such evil and selfish people even exist in the world, why are they so cruel and disgusting!!! Really can’t accept their shit!

Feeling so depress ...

At this timing I’m feeling so frustrated, irritated! I can’t control my emotional, I’m feeling so so tired so so lost. I have been feeling so regret for what I have become now through the whole year... I regret for being so naive to be with current Husband in the first place when we starts to date or not I will not ended suffering like this. I just have no idea why I have all these thoughts in my mind through this whole year, I’m feeling so tired no matter what. I feel that there’s no one that I can approach to cure my invisible illness, I’m so stressful actually.

I feel so depress that I didn’t really go on social media, post on Instagram which I used to be or even play games. I didn’t have the energy and didn’t even thought of playing games and posting on Instagram. I can’t help myself for feeling so depress, I find no one and no ways to solve the problem I’m facing ... 

There’s a lot of things and problems I would like to speak out really a lot !!! Recent years I’ve also find it no point to speak it out to my Husband as I feels that he doesn’t wish to listen or accept what I’ve told him ... which why I’ve ended up so depress ... 

Really hope everything’s a dream ...

Tomorrow will be the wake, as I read news that it will be a private wake without social media and fans. Feeling so heart pain to see JongHyun suffered and then in the end he still unable to fight the devil inside him. There’s really no one there to save him and help him... Although I don’t understands Korean and since I’ve got married and have kids I seldom chase after artist like I’ve used to be when I’m still single. I just scroll through the Facebook to catch on some of their latest updates and news, but I do still really love those artist that I’ve used to support and love so much. I’ve also notice that actually JongHyun writes songs and was expressing himself that he needs help and hope people could notice it and save him on time... In the end he still unable to fight! Depression is really a serious matter! I believe I have but I think of my kids and my family some times which distracts me from the devil inside me trying to beat me down ... Accompany and love the people who feels lonely and usually having a hard time going through their life, everyone is trying hard to survive for their loved ones and their life. People feels tired really! Cares more with those people you used to love ...

One thing I totally have no idea why there’s people so nasty to comment about it when there’s a lot of people already feeling so heart broken with someone they love that have passed away. It’s a life that is gone, a beautiful soul that just gone like this. Really such a pity but really have no idea why there’s still people wanting to comment such bad words and negative comments. Can’t they just keep all those comment to themselves, one fine day they will experience what others are going through....

(Images credit from the media)

You did great ! ❤️

You will be missed ! Jonghyun Oppa ❤️❤️❤️ You did great ~ hope you’ve gone to a better place. Thank you so much for all your music, all the memories I have about you for years and thank you the most for your hard work to let Shawols see the best of you !

Really such a shocking news and I really can’t accept it! My heart had already broken into pieces! He was such a beautiful men and he really has a beautiful! Powerful vocal! Such a pity and wasted to lose this beautiful men! My heart is in pain and aching so badly ... May you Rest In Peace, I believe you’re in a better place now. You will be missed! Tears just can’t stop falling ... Stay strong to all who concern ❤️

Really don’t understand why!!!

I really don’t get it what’s wrong? Really don’t understand small little thing she got to show her stupid temper me us? I did the laundry for her today she was enjoying watching her TV, she let me this pregnant lady do laundry and put this laundry out of the balcony. I don’t mind doing the laundry but you really expect a pregnant lady with back injuried history to put all the laundry out the balcony. She’s just doing show for her Son to see and also said her own words to her Son but how she treats me even if I’m blind I could even feel it or even sees it.

Just now me and hubby came home and she just keep insisting to ask my Husband to eat the fried rice whereby she did not ask whether my Husband wants or not. She’s like just keeping forcing my Husband eat eat eat faster eat, seriously what the hell is wrong with this old women. I knew that he can’t eat because he was so tired and kind of full but she just insist him to eat then I fight for my Husband I say he wanted to rest first think unable to eat also then she just show off her big temper. Seriously she thinks that she’s the queen in the house? NO! It’s because we give in to her and think for as cause she’s the only elderly in the house, even my Husband also cares about her more than his Wife which is me. I’m expecting the third one now which is already 4 months currently, but I just got treated so bad which makes me really wanted to leave the house with my two sons. 

I really can’t tolerate to live under the same roof with this kind of old people, so evil and inconsiderate. She even asked me whether I plan to go for abortion for my third baby when the starts I told her that I was expecting again. I did not mention it to my Husband what his Mother told me, I kept it to myself because I feel kind of surprised why would a women said this kind of things to a lady which is her DIL too!? Last Friday when I was taking a nap and my Husband was working afternoon shift and he say good bye to me before he leaves for work and then I was half awake. I overheard their conversation, she said that she feel so heartpain to see her Son so hard and the schedule is so packed that he can’t even get a good rest and sleep. She also say that her Son earned alone for the whole house to survive and in the first place ask me to do abortion but I don’t want.

What and how will you feel when you’re mil asked you to go for abortion for the third child just because she doesn’t wants to see her Son work so hard and tiring!???

LEARN FROM IT !!! Pleeeeease :(

Today I’ve encounter something so sad and when by the time I’ve notice it I have already broken into pieces. Some times I just get so tired till I unable to handle my boys then I’ll just raise my voice towards them or feel so irritated easily. So recently I’ve fall sick so my emotional got even worst I believe, so today morning I’ve raise my voice towards DD which I’ve feel so sad and regret now. I saw the way he behaves in his classroom today when the teacher called him he just stands at a corner watching his friends playing and dancing. I’ve totally learn my lesson for his time! I will control my emotional, I will try my very best to handle my emotional altough I’m expecting now. I really afraid that the depression is here but I’m not treating it well.

Dislike Low Sugar :(

Hello time now is midnight 00:45am and yes I just have my supper, I went for bed at around 11pm? Woke up at midnight because of Low sugar, always feel so so dizzy and uncomfortable when I’m having Low sugar! For this pregnancy I’m feeling so so weak, didn’t have enough food for my meals but yet what I’ve eaten just cause my blood sugar high. I’m feeling so so stress and tiring, I wish I could just be a normal person, why am I fated to be like this!? It’s really sad to be a diabetic, I have it since I was 16 years old. But since after I’ve got married and have kids my result are getting from bad to worst. I feeling so so tired to stay focus on my diet and etc but now I’m in big trouble because I’m pregnant. Insulin three times per day, this making so fucking sick !!!

Big J you can do it !

Hello! I’m feeling so so tired now, almost spend my whole afternoon of the day outside with Big J. Brought him to Polyclinic for Development Assessments but we late for a year, because when Big J was three years old they refer us to the Specialist at KKH due to speech delay. Overall I believe that it’s all my fault for nothing paying more attention towards him, I didn’t know that I’ve to educate him so much at each age of stage, now I’ve knew a lot and really trying my very best and also putting lots of time lots of afford towards him, Just wish he could learn more, understands more, speaks more and put some efforts on writing. I really do hope Big J can do it because he’s really an active boy :(

Today he did a eyes check but he can’t pronouns the Alphabets as he don’t really recognise it, so in the end we got to go back after three months to do it again. I’m actually feeling kind of stressful that I’ve got to let him recognise and do some writing at the same time :( In the mean time I’m pregnant now and next year I’m going to deliver in the month of May, I’m actually worry about Big J during my confinement. Wishing and hoping that Big J could give in more afford for what he have to learn :) Mummy love you so so much~ you know that ! MUACKS!

It’s evening time now, brought Big J to City Square Mall to have his lunch (McD) and have some fun time at Time Zone haha! Hubby came to find us in the later time when we have already play for quite some time. , we went to get some drinks and bought McFlurry Oreo Ice Cream for Big J as well. We went NTUC before we head home so we reached home around 5pm plus and Big J fall asleep haha! I’m got to fetch Small J home soon ^^

Good Night ...

Last day of 2017 October is about to end. I finally get to rest on bed at this hour, hubby went for work and it’s the third day that he work graveyard shift. He’s having a hard time to sleep and rest before he actually go for work, my poor little hubby! I let my boys go for bed after my Husband went out for work so it’s after 10pm, I settle my laundry once after my boys fall asleep. Glad that they go for bed early recently so that I’m able to rest early as well, I’m feeling so weak for this pregnancy when especially I caught a little bit of rain. Also I feel so tired easily and I have to take a afternoon nap or else at the end of the day my emotional will be so bad. Just recently I feel so tired that I threaten my Husband for letting me to and die and I didn’t did that for purpose, I was really in a very bad mood and I can’t hold my emotion. I’m worry about myself actually ...

Maybe I should try to get more rest but excluding if I go for work, no choice. Just hope I could tolerate so many things through this pregnancy till I deliver which is next year month of May. Tomorrow Big J have appointment at Polyclinic in the late morning so means that Small J is going for school alone, oops! Hope I’m able to fetch Small J home early so that he won’t feel lonely hmmm! But it doesn’t seems that he really wants to go home when every time I went to fetch them haha! Hope he’s getting used to the school environment and get along with the Teachers and friends. Alright I shall say Good night~ :)

Big J's Advanced Birthday Celebration

Making a throwback post of my elder son 4th birthday this year, advanced celebration with my family. (30/09/2017)

I went hougang mall to get birthday cake, bought it from Polar cake shop. 

We celebrate at night :)

Wanted to thank my family for the celebrations, the love and dotes for the boys. MUACKS!

Last day of October ...

Waiting for this day for quite sometime haha! cause Government is giving us $200 but sadly that it's not for everyone ... I wish that I could at least save $100 for my confinement savings, yes I'm pregnant and it's already 3 months now. It's was an unplanned pregnancy and same goes to my previous two pregnancy, really didn't expect to be two years apart for this pregnancy. Hope I could be stronger than before ...


At this hour there's a NEA person came for mosquitoes check but the worst is my MIL refused to let the person to enter the house. I'm really totally speechless, just check and take a look what's so trouble some!? Really don't understand why and what her mind is thinking of, it's like she did something wrong and scare the person to enter the house and check.

One more thing, yesterday there's a dumpster contractor came to knock on our door and ask whether we would like to change the dumpster as our area of flats is really old. Our area just got replenished from the start of the year and did some floor replacement and etc to make the area of flats look well and cool. But my MIL just can't stop asking whether the person is a stomper and keep commenting about the payment. But lucky my husband is still home and not yet out for work ...

I doesn't like my MIL brother to do and repair any of the house things, so lousy and expensive. My MIL is to silly to ask for him in the first place, in the end the house doesn't really look like a house at all. So weird!

Happy (Lunar) Birthday to small J :)

It's a Sunday and hubby got his off day :) Was planning to go Boon Keng to get dinner and cakes while the boys are habing their nap. But after me & hubby got changed and ready to go out, this time Big J woke up from his nap haha! so we've got no choice but to bring him along with us then.

Went Swee Heng to get Small Rainbow mini cakes for the boys as we can't bow candle yet because FIL passed away and haven reach one year yet.

MIL gave Small J money as we also unable to give red packet cause we haven reach one year.

Latest post ...

[throwback] Jaxson Baby Shower