Sad Tuesday ...

Time now is 23:00 ... I'm feeling kind of sleepy actually, but Jerald is still awake. These few days I have been thinking a lot, it just making me so sad and upset but I can't do anything. I just feels that nobody will want to know why I'm being like this or what I really need.

Example today morning when hubby got home from work, he worked for about 15 hours or more. He came home and I was sleeping, I said Hi to him and we chat don't know about what and I was still in a sleepy mood. After that I told him to have his meal and faster to take a rest after that, also said that I was feeling kind of tired.

He told me that why am I feeling tired as I'm staying at home (almost Everyday) and not even working. I was really sad and pissed off at the moment ...

Seriously! What is the hell wrong with it to stays at home and not feeling tired at all!?  Yup ok! I doesn't need to do house work, doesn't need to cook. I'm useless after all! If it's not for our boy you think I would stays at home!? 

Most of the time I don't argue because I finds it no point, in the end we just moving apart or even have a very bad attitude towards one another in future.

Actually I'm really suffering a lot! Really a lot in this house! Can anybody just tell me how would you live under a roof of people whereby they're totally a strangers to you and doesn't really know them well.

I have to tolerate every single thing but who ever listens to me!? Even there's someone in the end it's just shooting me back, it's like I'm the one I fault or even you all could blame on my family/relatives.

You all have step on my limits but I did nothing, I've never even voice out for my rights because I show respect. But doesn't mean you all could take advantages, yup! Maybe I'm a teenager in the first place when I step into the house.

But nowadays or even I dare to say this generation where you could find a Daughter in law willing to live with her Husband sides to tolerate and to look after the house some times. Or even have to look after the old ones and the small ones. 10% out of 100%!!!

Most of the times its not that I wanted to or not speaking about anything towards my hubby, because he will finds it irritates him or he can't do anything. Overall I could say that he will have stress because of me at the end of the day. So no point talking about it.

When if I talk about it to my Sister, I was being say why I got to talk to my Sister instead of my hubby!? Seriously it just makes me nobody to talk to. So in the end I've depression.

Actually, a lot of things, situation, words that have all hurts me a lot, really a lot! I have all memories of them!

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