Today since afternoon I’ve been so emotional, I can’t tolerate the stress and sadness which nobody could feel how painful I am actually. Nobody knows how tired I am on the inside and outside which really makes me wanted to die, I just feel like tearing but I’ve got to hold it because my boys is at home. I really wanted to cry out loud but sometimes I’m really so tired that I’ve actually fall asleep before I could even cry...
Most of the time when I do feel so not me I just keep scrolling through Instagram for SHINee’s videos and photos, but when I saw JongHyun I still feel so heart broken. I could really somehow knew the pain and the suffer he have went through. But I’m not totally 100% understood the feelings and experience, I also could not compare how much one another suffered. Everyone got their own feelings and experience but it’s just feel so sad and hopeless most of the time, only tears able to explain everything ...
Most of the time I do feel of leaving this world, it’s just so tiring! So unfair and so cruel! But I’m not strong enough to end my life, I really wish I have the courage like JongHyun Oppa... it’s sad and pity for him to leave like this but the pain and the suffers he’s having, no words and comment. Hope that he’s really in a good place now and he’s not suffering anymore... my beautiful angel! I miss you!~ ❤️
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