He does not have enough sleep and really exhausted I know that but can't he just hold up his frustration and anger if he's unable to finish his stuff. But he starts yelling towards me and the kids that he have to finish his stuff as there only two hours left... At that time actually Jerald is whining that he wanted to sit on the pram and go for school, at first I thought he doesn't want to. But after Jerald saw me and hubby yelling at each other Jerald was showing his anger as well and I did notice that. But I approach him and calm him down by asking whether how he wanted to go school.
Jerald mention says that he wanted to sit on the pram so I bring Javier along as well. At first before the yelling, Javier wanted to go along and climb onto the pram but I was rushing and wanted to bring Jerald to school so I ask hubby to as mother in law to help me settle Javier. Meanwhile hubby have already sat down and wanted to starts his work and then I voice up so that's the time yells and that's how the arguing starts.
So when I brought the boys our and I slam the door real hard and I heard him shouted vulgarities! so what does that mean by shouting all the vulgarities!??? Am I too sensitive or petty to keeping thinking that he was scolding me actually!??? I was really in a disappointment the whole day that I did not actually really talk to him for like two days, I feel so upset and sad. But he thinks that I'm petty at the end of the day.
He doesn't reflects why I was so upset but to think that I'm actually petty. It's not the first time I feel so disappointed on him... Few days ago I've also did mention that I wish to get a off day from the kids, house work and everything as I really feel so tired but nobody cares. At least my mother in law have a Saturday off to do what she wanted to or even go out as I always bring my boys back to my mother house on every Saturday. So what about me!? Know what he reply me, he said that I've already have half day off to go out with sister already and he doesn't even have a off day!
What I'm trying to tell him is that the only off day is not to think and worried about the house and the boys, I can go out and enjoy to relax and have some free time. Also not to keep watching the time and thinking of rushing home to cook at the end of the day, there's no point for me to go out and have fun. at the end of the day he doesn't understand what I mean or what I'm actually thinking, AT ALL!
This is why I feel so disappointed .... He doesn't feels the hard work and tiredness a wife! a mother! a daughter in law! IS~ When every time he ends work and came home me and mother in law doesn't ask him or request him to do any house stuff or even look after the kids for a period. NO! We just let him rest and do what he wanted to. He came home and eat, watches TV and then fall asleep!?
Is not that I wanted to complain or anything, but can't he just help out for a period of time. I'm really dying from the inside, really! I have always swallow all my pride and tolerance no matter how badly I was treated from the family and how tired or heart broken I am. I have always remind myself not to even speak a word when there's negatives comment and when I'm angry or frustrated because if I did so at the end of the day we will all have difficulties living together under one roof.
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