Sad weekends ...

I have been thinking a lot recently, thinking what have I done wrong or even what is wrong with me. But actually I'm not the matter who causes so much things, I'm trying to improve myself or even swallow my pride for my two boys.

I can be treated badly or listen to negatives comment. I have to accept all these nonsense whereby I'm not the one who causes it. I just have to accept all of it just for my two boys, I can sacrifice myself for them.

I told myself that I have to tolerate a lot, a lot no matter how bad the situation is. I also have been improving myself or even forcing myself to calm down in all situation. I don't wish to have any more bad comments or being treated so bad, although some times it still happens.

I have been very sad and upset recently and I don't know why. I guess j have no one to talk to, yet I have to look after my two darlings or not I have to go for work.

I told myself that if I'm ok to go for work, although I'm not even ready yet as my back is having issue often. I have to go for work actually, because I tell myself not to rely on others. Not to get others to spend their hard earn money, this is life. 

I have to stay strong! I will work hard, I will keep improving myself, I will prove myself. I work hard and earn hard, also play hard! I'm not afraid, I'm just being responsible for all sort of my ways.

I also respect you all no matter what...